Living authentically means living in alignment with one’s values. Often when we feel demotivated, frustrated, and stuck it is because whatever we are pursuing just doesn’t sit well with our values. How do you know whether you are living your values or simply chasing goals? Try answering this question: what did you ask yourself the last time you needed to decide whether or not to commit to something? If it wasn’t “”Which of my values does this align with?“, I suggest you read on to see why this critical question matters if you are to live an authentic, fulfilling life.
Values Clarification
Values are like life directions—guiding us toward what truly matters. Importantly, they reflect what is important to us and shape how we choose to live. In essence, our values determine what we want to do with our lives.
One powerful technique to help us connect with our values is values clarification. This tool enables us to identify what drives us, set meaningful goals, and make decisions that align with those goals. By doing so, we take purposeful actions that bring us closer to achieving our aspirations. It also makes it more likely that we will live a ‘values-driven’, rather than a ‘goal-driven’, life. This is the difference between engaging with and enjoying different elements of a journey and waiting only to get to the destination.
What motivates you?
Understanding your values can be transformative. It allows you to gain insight into the motivations behind your behaviours, helping you live more intentionally and make decisions that support the life you want. In fact, studies show that reflecting on your values is one of the most effective psychological interventions around. One study found that people who affirmed their values before a stressful task had significantly lower cortisol responses compared with those who didn’t.
Consider and respond to these questions to help you clarify your values:
- What qualities do you most appreciate in others? In yourself? What does that say about what you value?
- What would you do if money and other people’s opinions didn’t matter?
- What are you doing when time flies?
- Which events in your life have been the most meaningful to you?
- If you were to be stranded on a desert island, which three things would you bring with you? What do these things tell you about what’s important to you?
- Now, think about this: to what extent are you living the values identified in the above exercise? What, if anything, will you change to live more authentically?